...hate blog post...

...blow me.

You know, I've had it with people who you tried to be nice with all your life.

Hey, guess what? Go fuck yourself coz I am not even bothered.

Try be nice to you and you are now not even picking up my phone calls. So much for me trying to cover your ass when you fucked up my orders.

Try to be civilised with my "Dear.. tqvm" emails to get the order update but hey, it's more on my side doing the dirty job of telling the customers "Hey, your orders will be done late because this stupid moron did not even bother to follow up on my case?"

Try to warm it up to the bosses just to get another phonecall in the morning "Hey, where's the update that I need?" I am on paid leave, you motherfucker. And d'ohh, your manager and YOURSELF has the copy of the email sent by the customer on the UPDATE that you need.

Try to tell you that hey, the schedule is full for the installation of service and hey, can we just stick to the schedule that we have informed you. But no, you insisted that another DAY spells the doomsday of your business. I don't give one shit about your business mister. I have done my best to push the delivery date, but hell, I can't force people to change their schedule just because of you!

Try to tell you that when the fault is with the MAIN cable / fiber core servicing the AREA, I can't really push for your individual telephone lines to be up, because your fucking outlet has started operation. The main fiber core to the area do not have YOUR OUTLET name on it but everyone's name too! So can't you just WAIT?

So you see.. with all these happenings WHEN I AM ON FUCKING PAID LEAVE, please don't expect me to be civilised. And you, HUSBAND, I don't want McD for lunch! I want to have a proper meal, or don't even bother coming home for lunch when you are damn pressed for deadline. I don't give a shit. Next time, just send me off to any shopping malls and leave me there.

Fuck you.

...a day in the life of a crazy woman...

...pagi yang malas.



Bangun dari tidur. Menggeliat. Tengok jam hp. 7.08 pagi. Amir masih tidur. Lightly snoring. Warm. Nice. Cannot bring self to leave bed. He's..so..warm..



Best snuggle dengan laki pagi2 ni. Tak caya, kawin la. Baru tau. Hahahahaha...

Sampai opis, beli nasik lemak bungkus. Wash off with teh tarik. Kenyang.

Unplug telephone jack kat meja aku supaya tak berbunyik. Customer yang tau aku nye hp number boleh call mobile aku. Senyap dan aman. Fuhhh...

Check emails. Banyak. Ada yang menarik (Cuti @PD), ada yang menyakitkan hati (Outstanding LCB and COINS). Hadap aje la.

Lunch. Makan nasik lauk belitung masak lemak tapi tak pedas. Tak syiok. Telan aje la.

Lepas lunch, sambung tengok email. Hm. Memaki hamun mana yang patut. Submit program agenda pada Project Manager.

Hantar email pada CSM. Call nak follow up tapi tak berjawab. Bangkai betul. Kok ye pun nak pulau kan aku, be professional la. Jawab la email aku. Kalau aku boleh tahan baca email "Kambing Hitam" kau, email "Buang Masa RNO" kau, takkan takleh nak baca email aku yang start dengan "Assalamualaikum dan Salam Sejahtera" dan diakhiri dengan "TQVM". Babi betul.

Customer SMS. Dia maki aku sebab aku tak jawab SMS dia. Aku maki balik. End of story.

Hishh bila la nak balik ni.

Esok buat lagi...

...cut so deep, it hurts your soul...

...pagi yang gelap, kini sudah terang...

Aku sampai opis lambat. Tetiba bos aku sms "Aumi, where are you? Kristal dah nak start."

Like...huh? Tak pernah2 sms ni. Urgent ke?

Then I got to know, aku kena share success story untuk sesi Pep Talk KRISTAL.

Demm.. Satu hapah pun tak ready ni. Aku nak goreng pasal ape...

The thing is, aku sendiri tak pasti kalau aku ade success story. Steady Aumi.. steady...

Tarik nafas dalam-dalam. "Good morning.. hm.. success stories.. where do I start?"

Tahun lepas.. ada sekali tu bos aku suruh aku present. Tajuk ape-ape la. Ikut suka. Aku seperti biasalah kan, tak pernah ambil serius pun. Tapi bila sampai hari kena present tu, aku sejuk kepala. Member lain siap prepare slide! Aku? Haram...

So aku fikir.. ape ni.. ape ni.. blank ni... then aku dapat idea. Blank. Yes, blank is good. Great!

Aku ke depan, aku pasang Power Point. Tapi Power Point kosong. Blank. And korang tau tajuk apa aku present? DREAM. Something yang aku conjure kan tak sampai 5 minit.

Aku cerita pasal angan-angan. Impian. Impian yang asalnya kosong macam Power Point kat depan ni. Cerita macam mana nak 'mewarnakan' impian. Dan 5 minit berikutnya, tepukan gemuruh. Komen GM aku? Aku came prepared. Heh. Kalau la dia tau aku sebenarnya tak bersedia langsung untuk speech tu. Siap ada yang kata aku ni inspiring. Hahahahahahahaha... gile pandai kenching aku ni kan?

Berbalik kepada masa sekarang...

5 minutes.. done. Simple. Siap ada kata-kata semangat lagi. (Punya la living in denial. Sebab aku sendiri pun rasa aku tak termotivate dengan kata-kata aku..but anyhow..)

"Yes, we may face some issues with our work, but after all that, once we get it, what we want.. we'll say, it's worth it..." What the hell was that? Euwww...

Then aku tanya dengan member aku, how was I? She said..."well, aku cakap dengan akak seblah aku, Aumi dalam tak prepare pun boleh bercakap macam tu..."

Skill? Maybe. Skill mengenching..

Ciao~!

...I Inspire Beautiful Powerful Love..

"I Inspire Beautiful Powerful Love"

...itu actually satu statement yang aku letak atas meja aku. Bersama-sama kata-kata semangat yang lain;

"Never Give Up"
"Coming together is a BEGINNING, keeping together is PROGRESS, working together is SUCCESS"
"WINNING means always striving to be BETTER, DIFFERENT, FIRST"
"What matters most is how you see yourself" (caption ada gamba anak kucing tengok cermin dengan reflection singa)

dan yang paling poyo sekali -

"I can do anything and I'm beautiful doing it" (ada gambar awek buat flying kick sebab ini ad utk Nike Woman).

Ada jugak article yang aku amik dari newsletter company aku - "Leadership tips - characteristics of an effective team". Ewah... masa ni aku berangan nak jadi team leader. So aku letak la article ni untuk aku baca buat tambah ilmu...

Inspiring? Er.. not!

Semua ni aku letak masa aku awal2 take up the challenge untuk buat High End Profile customers. Gile. Masa tu aku tak ada kawan nak motivate diri aku ni. So kena la push diri sendiri. Heh.

Tapi bila dah lama2 tu dia jadi disillussioned. So lately aku punya slogan atas meja ada cynical sikit;

"My job is secure - nobody wants it"
"Some days are a total waste of makeup"

..buat gelak kalau tengah tension. And untuk sejukkan hati aku, aku letak gamba wedding parents aku. Bila ingat kat derang aku rasa tenang kejap, tadek la rasa huru-hara.

Dan aku letak jugak notice kat whiteboard aku - magnet Garfield; MY PLACE, MY MESS, MY BUSINESS. Tapi ade jugak yang miang tangan kemas meja aku masa lawatan Dato' COO ke opis aku hari tu. Shilake. Biarla. Nampak la aku ni banyak keje...(memang banyak keje pun).

Rupanya bila aku trace balik, perangai letak mende pelik2 atas meja aku ni aku bawak dari masa aku sekolah menengah lagi. Masa tu aku prefect; prefect kat asrama dapat room. Dalam satu bilik ada 3 orang, dua orang ni dapat noticeboard, aku tak ade. So aku buat sendiri pakai papan polisterin. Aku beli pembalut cantik, aku balut, dan aku tampal board ni atas dinding depan meja study aku. Atas board tu aku letak gamba mak aku, gamba aku adik-beradik, kata-kata semangat untuk aku SPM. And of course, target aku untuk SPM - 9A1! Aku actually dah lupa pasal board ni sampai la aku came across gamba aku masa form5 kat bilik; choyyy... poyo gile!

Bila kat MMU, perangai tu tak abis lagi. Ade satu board kat depan meja aku jugak. Bila aku ada masalah dengan one of my housemates yang tetiba pulaukan aku tak pasal2, aku tulis kata-kata semangat "She's only ONE person!" something like that la. So board ni tempat aku meluahkan perasaan aku yang tengah sakit hati sebab ada lahanat sorang ni buat hal pulak dengan aku.

So.. board aku ni memang banyak gunanya..utk motivasikan diri aku, and tempat aku luahkan perasaan aku.. :P

Aku rasa kalau aku jadik boss, perkara pertama yang aku akan buat, letak motivational stuffs kat meja setiap staff aku. (Tadek la exactly macam yang aku buat skang ni, melampau2). Akan aku susun kat dinding office. Kat bilik aku. Every evening, buat pep talk 5 mins ataupun buat aktiviti yg boleh rapatkan hubungan sesama staff. Menari, berlakon, ape-apelah. Sebelum balik rumah, discharge dulu masalah.

Aku percaya untuk naikkan produktiviti kakitangan, kita kena amalkan sikap caring for each other. Lift their spirits, show that we care. Sales team lebih2 lagi. Hari-hari kita balik kerja dengan rasa susah hati utk menghadapi hari esok. Give these people something to look forward to each day.

..dan kita mulakan dengan meletakkan slogan ini atas meja - NEVER GIVE UP!

Satu hari nanti... :-)

...Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend...

...angau~!

Semalam aku sembang dengan Amir on the way back home from work(aku dengan Amir selalu bersembang kan?) .. aku cakap, aku ni nama je kawin dengan Software Engineer, tapi website sendiri pun tak ada. Job buat online system berlambak2.. tapi sendiri punye.. domain pun tadek. Ishk.

Pastu aku tanya kat dia, nak kena buat macam job lain ke? Nak kena bayar? Kalau tanak caj direct, aku boleh cari proxy. Mintak proxy tu yang propose kat Amir. Then aku bayar la proxy tu. Hahahahaha... gile psycho (plus desperado pun ade nih!). Dia diam je.. "tak de lah.. mana ade.." tu la jawapan biasa dia kalu aku sakat camtu. Pastu terus pandang depan. Memandu. Buat cam tatau je. Shilake.

So hari ni.. tetiba dia email aku..

ayang,
lagu jason mraz tu ayang boleh download kat:-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

www.aumiamir.com

suprise!

-amir-

Heh heh heh heh heh.. thank you bang...

Jason Mraz - Lucky (feat Colbie Caillat)
============================
Do you hear me,I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh, ooooh, oooh, oooh,
Oooh ooh ooh ooh

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

...mindless post...

...hola~!

Lama tak update. Satu; aku busy. Dua; aku busy. Tiga; aku b.. oh, you get my point!

Anyhoo, despite my busy schedule, aku cuba untuk menulis sekerap mungkin. Pada aku, only through expressing my thoughts like this am I able to keep my sanity. Which always at the brink of self-sacrilege. So you see, writing makes me.. happy. Heh.

People might thought that when you write without taking into consideration of other's point of view, you teeters towards sanctimonious pride. In other words - shiok sendiri. Tapi pada aku, writing is definitely my own way of seeing things, and if you don't like what I write, screw you. Being considerate when writing is definitely not even an option. :-)

I grew up trained to be vocal. The first 10 years of my life was filled with school debates, poetry recitation, short sketch, story-telling competition; you name 'em cheesy stuffs, I've done them all. I have my dad to blame; he sent me off to the competition venue himself. He encouraged me to stand in front of the people and speak up. When I was hesitant, he pushed me (not literally though, thank God). He said, there is no need to be ashamed of. If you try, you will succeed. Sheesh. Damn those Hallmark moment.

So I grew up to become someone who is not afraid to speak her mind. However, in some ways, I have turned into an obnoxious brat who never mince her words. There's one time I texted my dad after I overheard a fight between him and my mom. I actually said this - 'I am sick of all this fighting at home. I hope this will never happen again.' And guess how old I was? 19. So, kena lah. Nasib baik tak naik tangan! But the thing about that incident was, when he was bashing me with this "you-ungrateful-daughter-I-never-taught-you-to-be-so-kurang-ajar-like-this" stuff, I was actually looking straight into his eyes, never battered an eyelash. Defiant? Not really. Kecut jugak. Kurang ajar? Maybe. But at least he knew I hate the fights.

Then, working. I was known as a very direct person in the office. However, there were times when my approach was too direct, even towards my superior. My ex-GM, he's one of my 'victim'. I was new. Just reported for duty. And the first sin I've commited? I asked him directly why he did not sign my mobile phone application. Wah, bad move! Everytime there's a new executive reporting for duty, his "Do's and Don't" list will include my name and what I did to him. Each and every time...

So I've learnt to mince my words. My emails are like English compositions. THIS close to become a literary masterpiece. Instead of saying "Pay your dues, jackass", I have to write "Kindly make your payment within 30 days of receiving this invoice", "Thanking you in advance for your current and future business with us".. *eurrghh*

What do I have left? Yep, this blog. This mindless rambling of a mad(wo)man. Hate me or love me, I am here to write.

...so I'll say.. f**k you.

Thank you.

...kerja macam aku...

"...Jangan kau bimbang sayang,
Di mana ku berada,
Dengan siapa ku bersama,
Jangan bimbang ku tetap kau yang punya.."

-Malique feat Najwa, Kau Yang Punya -

...kerja macam aku kena ada partner yang memahami. Kalau tak, boleh makan hati. Kerja macam aku kena selalu bersosial, tapi bukan sampai dinihari. Bukan juga perlu pergi party. Tidak perlu juga tunggu hingga after-party..

...kerja macam aku memang kena kuat cari. Cari tempat untuk cepat naik gaji. Cari duit untuk cepat beli Honda City. Curi masa untuk dapat bela diri. Cari jalan untuk dapat appraisal tinggi...

...kerja macam aku memang susah nak diganti. Tapi kalau aku mati ramai yang menanti. Bila aku senang memang ramai yang mencari. Bila aku susah aku jerit seorang diri...

...kerja macam aku Amir memang makan hati. Tengah-tengah malam ada lagi yang mencari. Bila servis rosak aku jadi gila babi. Buat troubleshooting ikut suka-suka hati...

...kerja macam aku buat aku tangguh lagi. Tangguh dapat anak entah bila tak tahu lagi. Kini aku rasa baik aku undur diri. Baik buat anak dan mula besarkan family...kalau orang cari aku kata PERGI MATI!

...kerja macam aku...